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BROWSE REVIEWS Click on a letter to browse through the reviews on this site: |
PEARL HARBOR I don't even know how to hell I am going to
start this off, but I will say this. For the sake of your hard earned money, don't!
Don't see this movie, don't even think about seeing it. I have taken a bullet
to bring you this warning by seeing this thing Disney has cranked out,
and I only pray that people listen to the reviews this time out. Listen,
listen because they are true. This has to be the most horrendous,
excruciatingly bad movie I have ever endured. The dialogue is worst
than anything you will ever hear. The acting... wow, I don't even think there
is a word in existence, or in any language that can describe what I have just
witnessed. I thought Michael Bay hit his worst three years ago with ARMAGEDDON.
Uh uh. Here he has proven he can even out-ass himself in every way
possible. I am not going to invest a lot of time talking
about this film, because it would be impossible. The love story, pathetic.
The story itself, miserably executed. There is nothing that conjures
up emotions, and I would have been happy for a little manipulation. It is not
a popcorn flick, so don't listen to those who'll defend it with that lame
excuse. It is a drama, and a failed drama at that. The
prologue, the romance, the drama, the chemistry, the big bang scene
that takes up a half an hour... all moronically executed. It is worthless, it
is... you all would have to see it for yourself. I suggest you not, but I
think everyone here wants to see it at least once anyway. Only after you see
it will you know where I am coming from. And those who will like... join a
church group, a missionary group, something. Because you are one hell
of a forgiving person, and you have a big heart. Never will I watch it again. Never. And from
here on in, Michael Bay doesn't exist. Never will I walk into another Michael
Bay directed film. And at long last, Bruckheimer has given me an excuse to
stay away from his movies for good as well. For the past fifteen years I have
been a damn fool, going back to his productions like a dog. From here
on in, no more. Most of you won't listen, despite all the negativity you'll
hear. I say, good luck to you, and always remember it is just a movie. And
unless your confined to the chair, you can walk out. I know I did. If this thing wants to win Oscars, it's going to need a lot more than $140 million dollars in campaigning. These are additional comments made by
Josh on a messege board: I've pretty much bashed the movie, but would
like to point out a few things about it that grated on my nerves: The acting. It is perhaps some of the most
uninspired acting I have ever witnessed onscreen. Affleck, with his obnoxious
Ah shucks Hillbilly accent was damn near impossible to put up with.
Josh Hartnett knows how to remember dialogue and nothing more. And Kate
Beckinsale, who has delivered some great performances in COLD COMFORT FARM
and MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING is reduced to playing a good 'ol nurse who
never looked for love, but love found her anyway. Only problem is that the
two men who love her are, golly, like brothers and the best of buddies. All
she has to do is be loyal to one, and then after that, loyal to the other.
She has to act concern, in love, worried, heartbroken. But she has the same
facial expression throughout, so it's hard to know. One scene she does pull a
great Demi Moore, and the tears just flow like a waterfall. And the scene where Affleck refuses to sleep
with Beckinsale, respecting her to much had me laughing like a madman. What
an obvious attempt to have the ladies in the audience fall all over a man
like that. Don't get me wrong, the notion is a nice gesture, but here it is
laughable because I don't even think these two bought it. Affleck looked like
he was on the verge of laughing and saying, Just kidding, let's go
upstairs. The dialogue. Some of the worst dialogue
ever has been put on paper and handed to the actors. And they recite
the dialogue in the lamest way imaginable. And the letter swapping scene when
the two are narrating (Affleck, writing a letter on a bench with a depressing
backdrop, Beckinsale, reading the letter with crashing waves behind her.
Beckinsale, writing a letter with the sun going down behind her, Affleck,
reading the letter... you get the hint). The buddy/buddy dialogue was
tremendously bad, with the, You're my best friend in the whole wide world
thing going. Beckinsale's loyal nurse friends who all gather around her and
help her out during tough times (they are supporting characters, what the
hell, they need no development), was sad to watch. The guy friends of Affleck
and Hartnett... wow, you have to see it to believe it (so much time was
actually spent on one of them talking about putting on fake tears so he could
score with one of the nurses). The love story. Absolutely, positively, without
a doubt, no chemistry. The way the characters are put together
is horrendous, their little dates is clichéd to death, and the love triangle
was completely overblown and totally unnecessary (oh, but one will have to
sacrifice himself, ah huh... right). This movie is three hours of these three
boobs playing elementary games when it comes to love. The sub-plot that had
people believing Affleck was dead took up so much time (useless time, but
time nonetheless), and when he finally shows up he gives a pretty simple
explanation. He hasn't been home five seconds before the affair between her
and Hartnett is revealed, and guess what, he goes on a drunken binge where a,
hang on, a fight between the two old friends go down. The two make up though,
whenever two guys fight they always become best buddies again. You remember
that, it's been in the movies enough. The bombing scenes. Great visual effects, yup.
Sound, top notch. Cinematography, pretty amazing stuff. The emotion?
Non-existent. The notion that this happened hits me pretty hard, but these
images don't belong in such a movie. To make an extravagant, big budget gala
of an event that took the lives of thousands of people? It's exploiting it,
and nothing more. There is no emotion added to the love story because it is
the backdrop for it, and tragedy looms in the air for these people. I felt no
dread because I could give a damn about the characters. Am I only required to
care what happens to them during a forty minute section of the film?
Certainly not. Read up on Pearl Harbor on the net, in books, wherever you
can. The visuals of the movie are impressive, but they didn't capture
anything special, tragic, or anything of the sort. It's an exercise in what
millions of dollars can accomplish. People are going to like this movie. People are
going to compare this movie to other films. They are going to label it a
popcorn movie and think that will make it invincible against criticism.
People are going to like it and not give a damn about other people's opinion.
And people are going to hate it. I wrote this out because I'm getting the
general feeling that most here are going to favor the movie over those who
didn't care for it, or downright hated it. I have a funny feeling that I am
going to be outnumbered and maybe even attacked for my opinion. And it's all
there, written above what turned me off about the movie. Either you forgive
or admire what I loathed. Or you agree with it. But those who loved it are
going to have to face it that it's not loved by many. And for me, it is the worst
film of 2001 to date. Maybe that'll change, but it's going to be on the top
ten for sure. I don't see what those who liked it saw. Sorry. But again, I am
getting the feeling that its fans are going to get a little... well, ugly in
the next few weeks. My Grade: F |